It's in your warmth that I live

Waking up to that sparkling smile
Seems as though it has been a while

Time crawls and sometimes stands still
I am lost in this crowd, finding your warmth in this chill

Your chin on my shoulder, the curious look in your eyes
Smile on your lips , your hug and your cries

As I feel something moist on my cheek
I remind myself not to be weak

We make choices that make us stronger
Even though they may seem to last longer

But life recycles each thing in it's nature
What goes far, soon comes closer..

Though distance keeps us far, you are my piece of soul
In your warmth I LIVE, else I am only a part, not the whole.

Pretty Woman

"You are beautiful no matter what they say, words won't bring you down.. ",

This song by Christena Aguilera stuck with me for a long time.

I am not a pretty girl, or best in shape. I was a plump girl in school with bushy eyebrows, pigtails and a pair of spectacles. I went to a convent girls school , and they did not make it easy for a girl like. I was often ridiculed for my weight, which made me low on self confidence.

Made me wonder, how much do appearances matter in this world?

With age, came wisdom. It is not difficult for a woman to look good. I lost some baby fat during early college days and a little bit of grooming changed my appearances for the better.  I did not plan this makeover due to the body shaming done to me at school, it just happened.

I never had a carved body. I eat moderately, do some basic yoga and lead a healthy life. The second stage of body shaming  came during marriage. I had people advising me on how I should lose weight to pair up "better" with my rather handsome husband. Why did the same body need effort just because I was getting married? The answer I got was, cause those photos will stay with you forever.

Really? The most important occasion was downsized to a photo session. I had too much on my mind to even bother about the photographs on that day. New home, new family, language and culture changes.. Should I care too much about my waist size then?


However, people have taken me by surprise with the latest act of body shaming..during my pregnancy. I did yoga for all 9 months, enrolled for prenatal classes and had an average healthy weight gain of about 10-12 kgs. BY the 8th month I was a healthy pregnant woman. Nothing mattered more than the health of my child. I ate simple Indian home cooked food and went to work till I could.
But once again social gatherings irked me. When you are pregnant, jokes about how you have put on weight don't seem funny. A woman goes through a whirlwind of emotions, hormonal changes during this phase,  The least people can do is, not talk about her appearance.
Then Aisha came, and things did not go as anticipated. Some health issues and probably post partum feelings which I could not contain , have led to a decent  weight gain. 4 months post her birth, I finally have things in order. All in order except my weight . Some people speak with genuine concern and some resort to body shaming. it doesn't matter, if they add "don't worry about your weight right now" just after cracking a joke on the same, I know I will get back in shape and get back to work soon...but I do wish people made it easier for women knowing what goes into marriage, giving birth and rearing a life.

A pretty woman is the one with beautiful thoughts, conversations and the ability to get up and move on. Challenge me on that and I will show you what is beyond my body, is my own mind. Try putting that to shame, will you :-) ?? 

Until we meet again..

Time had us lost in two worlds

 But we have found each other now,

A wanderer who could not stay in moulds

I have overcome that thought somehow,

It must be a deep bond that connects one other

What else explains one lost soul welcoming another ?

I accept you as my own and glad that you chose me

To keep you within and nurture you as my extended identity


As you grow into the beautiful gift of God,

At nature's creation, I am humbled and awed.

Now time comes to a close, we shall meet at last

" Until we meet again "-  we never said our good byes in the past.

Leaves Of Grass

Two Seeds of a Pod,  Planted alike,
Destined differently, when Nature would Strike.

Reared in the same Soil, One Sun on them will Shine
Two Seeds of a Pod, each, to a separate path will Align

Time was a friend this far, seeds grown into leaves of Grass.
Two leaves, Together , the ill-fates they could Surpass.

Seasons they saw, Years that went past,
Young leaves of grass, in a happy place were cast.

Each growing to new dreams, hearts filled with joy,
But Time was about to turn a foe, Who was to Ploy?

Fields golden, turned fiery red one day,
Dreams caught fire, only ashes were to Stay.

Taller leaf, shielded the stunted one,
Took the blaze on , but a word said none.

Fire went Off, But the charred leaf withered,
Stunted one's love and hope went scattered.

Cursing the stars, which appeared on twilight,
Leaves of Grass, today a sacrimony of this plight..