I love the mustang in you

depth in your eyes
always fixed on the finish line
the pace at which you race..

I see a mustang in you.. 

too quick to catch
cannot be held back
too headstrong to be shown the way
the mustang only knows its next leap away..

such is a mustang in you..

could not keep the pace, sometimes I lose you without a trace
where is your finish line?
Has it crossed your mind, im trying to keep your pace

yes there is mustang in you.


This is a game of chase..this is the game of find and escape..
this is my mustang i seek... Does it seek me too?

yes this is the mustang i love , the one that i see in you.

Where do I belong

Staring into the deep blue sea, I could find everything but Me..
I forget who I am, Where do I  Belong? Is it just me, that I cannot see.

Where is my tribe ? The one with a common Vibe,
I've always been searching in a sea of people
Longing for that One, that never arrived
For What is with me, could it still be mine ?

Sharing a silence together with the Wind, watched the clouds pass By,
Moments stay, but Time has run By
Trapped in a capsule, it stays with me
I know it is not Real, it's just a Memory.

The Place never moved, But I did So,
Did I ever get back, Or will I ever go?

Where do I belong, is it in that Heart?
Which has never been mine, We were always Apart.
Is that closer, the One which is far away..
It is not the time to judge, or ask or seek anyway..

The ship has sailed for years, there never was a storm
Never looked back, ahead or beyond.
It is Time to sail in quiet Peace, to blindfold myself, lock and throw away the Key
Which may have all the answers to finding the real Me.

Now it is just me and the Sea, I look into its eyes and ask with a Glare,
Where do I belong ?  And It tells me what I already know,  "Nowhere, Nowhere".

It's in your warmth that I live

Waking up to that sparkling smile
Seems as though it has been a while

Time crawls and sometimes stands still
I am lost in this crowd, finding your warmth in this chill

Your chin on my shoulder, the curious look in your eyes
Smile on your lips , your hug and your cries

As I feel something moist on my cheek
I remind myself not to be weak

We make choices that make us stronger
Even though they may seem to last longer

But life recycles each thing in it's nature
What goes far, soon comes closer..

Though distance keeps us far, you are my piece of soul
In your warmth I LIVE, else I am only a part, not the whole.

Pretty Woman

"You are beautiful no matter what they say, words won't bring you down.. ",

This song by Christena Aguilera stuck with me for a long time.

I am not a pretty girl, or best in shape. I was a plump girl in school with bushy eyebrows, pigtails and a pair of spectacles. I went to a convent girls school , and they did not make it easy for a girl like. I was often ridiculed for my weight, which made me low on self confidence.

Made me wonder, how much do appearances matter in this world?

With age, came wisdom. It is not difficult for a woman to look good. I lost some baby fat during early college days and a little bit of grooming changed my appearances for the better.  I did not plan this makeover due to the body shaming done to me at school, it just happened.

I never had a carved body. I eat moderately, do some basic yoga and lead a healthy life. The second stage of body shaming  came during marriage. I had people advising me on how I should lose weight to pair up "better" with my rather handsome husband. Why did the same body need effort just because I was getting married? The answer I got was, cause those photos will stay with you forever.

Really? The most important occasion was downsized to a photo session. I had too much on my mind to even bother about the photographs on that day. New home, new family, language and culture changes.. Should I care too much about my waist size then?


However, people have taken me by surprise with the latest act of body shaming..during my pregnancy. I did yoga for all 9 months, enrolled for prenatal classes and had an average healthy weight gain of about 10-12 kgs. BY the 8th month I was a healthy pregnant woman. Nothing mattered more than the health of my child. I ate simple Indian home cooked food and went to work till I could.
But once again social gatherings irked me. When you are pregnant, jokes about how you have put on weight don't seem funny. A woman goes through a whirlwind of emotions, hormonal changes during this phase,  The least people can do is, not talk about her appearance.
Then Aisha came, and things did not go as anticipated. Some health issues and probably post partum feelings which I could not contain , have led to a decent  weight gain. 4 months post her birth, I finally have things in order. All in order except my weight . Some people speak with genuine concern and some resort to body shaming. it doesn't matter, if they add "don't worry about your weight right now" just after cracking a joke on the same, I know I will get back in shape and get back to work soon...but I do wish people made it easier for women knowing what goes into marriage, giving birth and rearing a life.

A pretty woman is the one with beautiful thoughts, conversations and the ability to get up and move on. Challenge me on that and I will show you what is beyond my body, is my own mind. Try putting that to shame, will you :-) ??